BPS JPT FOR YOU: How to Propose to a Woman

Saturday, November 27, 2010

How to Propose to a Woman

hai frds

How to Propose to a Woman: "

Proposing can be one of the most unforgettable moments – so why not make it a moment that she'll never forget?

Steps

Think first. Is this a person that you really want to spend the rest of your life with? If so, read on.
- You've probably already been thinking this over for some time. It's a big step but also one that many more have already made. The important thing is to know that you love her and consider her to be 'the one'. Write down or think through a list of all the reasons that make you want to marry her. This will be important for expressing your love to her at the proposal, as well as confirming to yourself that you're making the right decision.
- Avoid discussing your plans too widely with others, as it can soon filter back to her through the grapevine.
- Psych yourself up for continuous wedding talk and preparations once you've asked her. It's useful to have an idea in your own mind about the length of time you'd like between the engagement and the wedding, realizing that she'll have her own ideas about this too.
If the parents are old-fashioned and your significant other wouldn't find it offensive or sexist, you could consider asking her parents for permission. Although asking a father's permission is considered by many to be old-fashioned, it hasn't died out precisely because it's a gesture that suggests that you respect her and her family and that you're always going to be considerate of her family. It's also a sign of politeness, and what family can resist that?
- Put her first – is this something that would be important to her and her family? Or is it something that might make her cringe? Or maybe she is estranged from her family. Take your cues from your knowledge of her existing situation and preferences. You should know her well enough by now.
- Another modern twist on asking for permission is to do so after you've proposed. This can be a way of ensuring that your wife-to-be is the first to be asked but she's aware that you still intend to bring her family right into the fold by asking; this can also be a good excuse to turn up together to share the news. Some people consider that this is the 'wrong way around' but it's still a sign of respect, and frankly, it's your choice.
- If it isn't possible to ask her father, ask her mother.
Decide when to propose. It's important to get the timing right, and timing is really only something that you can work out. It's not possible to say that there are perfect times to propose but it is important that you propose at a time when you're not rushed and when you feel calm, sorted, and ready. Once you've planned the proposal in as much detail as possible, then the time will be right. Some things to keep in mind though:
- Is there a meaningful day to the both of you? Such as an anniversary of your relationship or first date, or some other commemoration?
- Sometimes the time chooses itself by sheer practicality, especially if the two of you are living in different cities and come together for a special holiday event and this is your only chance to ask her.
- Consider the time of year she wants to get married. It's helpful to ask her or indirectly through her friends or family if there is a certain season, month, or length of time she wants to be engaged in order to plan the wedding without feeling overwhelmed or rushed.
- Proposing on special holidays or birthdays has advantages and drawbacks. On the one hand, these days can make the occasion more meaningful, especially if family is gathered around or it's a time of great joy. On the other hand, you will always share your proposal date with the holiday date; if you want to celebrate your engagement date, this can make it feel less impersonal for some, while for others, it's a great way to remember!
Decide where you will propose. The place and atmosphere of the proposal will be remembered forever and the most important thing to remember is that you are the principal creator of the atmosphere! Naturally, you can propose absolutely anywhere but it helps to choose a place that will be meaningful for both of you and where you can feel comfortable, calm, and natural.
- Where are her favorite places? Does the love the beach, sunsets, tall buildings, bridges, cityscapes, nature, etc.? Or perhaps she'd appreciate a private screening in the local cinema?
- What is practical? The harder you try to create a special occasion, the more things can go wrong. Sometimes it's just easier to focus on what you know will work and will be appreciated by both of you.
- Consider romantic places such as the beach, a botanical garden, a famous restaurant with an amazing view, a covered bridge, a picnic, etc.
- Consider the things the two of you love doing together. Perhaps this can serve as a source of inspiration, such as proposing when you're out camping, fishing, sailing, hiking, cycling, attending a sports event, traveling somewhere, etc.
- Make reservations if you need to. If you're proposing somewhere like a restaurant where you need to be able to get the best table, etc., be sure to reserve it well in advance.
Decide how you will propose. Once you've decided the when and the where, the intimate details of the how need consideration. Naturally, there is the ring to produce but what other elements do you want to add into the mix to make this an especially memorable and romantic occasion for her? Bear in mind that the manner in which you propose will be retold by her many times over, so make sure it's good! There are many possibilities and it's entirely up to you what you do but for some inspiration, here are some suggestions:
- Try the traditional pose. Bend down on one knee, take her hand in yours and ask her to marry you. The beauty of this gesture is that it's universally recognized thanks to the movies, and it can be performed anywhere. Just note that if there are other people around, they'll be eavesdropping (kindly!), so expect their interest and support.
- Think about things that might accompany the occasion, such as a quartet playing a tune or a serenade, or a tiny fireworks display, etc. These sorts of extras are not necessary and they will bloat the budget unless you've got willing friends to help out, but if it's your kind of thing, they can add to the atmosphere.
- Hide the ring. This is another popular method for proposing that requires her to find the ring, and then you do the proposing. Places to hide a ring include inside flowers, chocolates, or a special gift. be sure to ask her to open the gift at the time, or you might be waiting ages! And take great care not to hide it somewhere that she can accidentally swallow it; that'll put a big dent in the occasion.
- Be creative. If you're not so traditional or you're not that keen to say the proposal yourself, there can be a number of other ideas for proposing that involve some more planning but can be really entertaining as well as confirming for her that you're the kooky guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with. You could prepare her very own word puzzle or crossword in which the final answer spells 'Will you marry me?'. Or you could have a plane write the question across the sky as the two of you are walking along. Perhaps use publicity, such as taking out an advertisement in the paper that you know she'll read, or getting her favorite radio DJ to announce the proposal, or place a big banner with the question on it over a bridge she drives under every day.
Look for a ring. Ask her mom or best friend what her ring size is. If you don't know, get a temporary ring, and then get another after you propose; for many women, choosing their own ring is the preferred option.
- Read How to choose an engagement ring for more information.
Or just wear whatever's practical!
Be dressed in your best according to the occasion and choice of place. Dress well to be sure that you're as handsome and attractive as can be. This is a very special occasion and it deserves to be 'picture perfect'. She'll appreciate the effort you've gone to.
- Naturally, this only applies where you're planning to propose somewhere elegant and you have time to change beforehand. If you're proposing on the beach, during a hike, skiing, or as you're skydiving, use your common sense about what to wear!
Practice. If you're going to propose, it pays to practice. Practice asking, and practice explaining the reasons as to why you love her so much that you want to spend the rest of your life with her. This will help you avoid being tongue-tied when the important moment comes up.
- Keep the proposal simple, to the point, and from the heart. For example: 'Melody, I love you more than words can ever express. You're the most thoughtful, generous, kind, and beautiful woman I've ever had the fortune to know and I'd be honored to have the chance to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?'
Seal it with a kiss!
After double-checking everything, go forth and propose. There is no time like the present to move on with your carefully thought through plan. Bring her along to 'the place' and start unfolding your plans. Be sure that you don't give things away by touching the ring in your pocket constantly, or saying daft things. Some things to bear in mind post-proposal:
- There may be tears, screaming, or shock. Don't be phased, these are fairly standard reactions, even if she has every clue of what you're about to do. It's not real to her until it's done!
- If she says yes, end the proposal with a kiss or a hug.
- If she says no, react with understanding and don't be petulant. She may need time to think and a memory of your sour face and grumpy attitude will leave a bad impression in her mind. Be a gentleman.

Video

Tips

'Down on one knee' originally started as pose for gentlemen to show their ultimate respect for their bride to be, which is rather sweet!
Talk to her about it. If you really think that you can be together for the next 50 years, you can talk about things like marriage. Make sure that she wants to marry you.
Originality is awesome, but don't go overboard.
Don't worry if she says 'No' or 'I'll have to think about it' - this is a big step.
If possible, set up a video camera or ask someone to take pictures. These will be great to show to family members and friends.
If you are really clueless, ask her best friend(s) or mother.
Have her pick out 3-5 rings that she would really like as an engagement ring. Every jewelry store said this was a good idea because even if she likes every aspect of the ring, she may still not care for how it is put together.
Ask the restaurant if it can arrange a champagne toast to bring out after you've proposed.
Evenings are a very romantic time for proposals but they're not essential, and for many people, a daytime proposal in a beautiful setting is just as romantic.

Warnings

Avoid diverting her by going on about not being the marriageable type, or having to run off soon. This is both cruel and unnecessary and could land you in hot water when she ends up feeling frustrated and irritated with your non-commitment or busy person lines. Anything that puts a dampener on the evening first will be hard to turn around. And even if she guesses what you're about to do, the suspense is still killing her and it won't be real until you've actually proposed. Think 'fairy tale'!
Calm your nerves; it's hardly romantic if you end up spluttering or vomiting out of fear.
Act normal in the lead-up to proposing to her. When you're out shopping for a ring, or organizing the proposal place, just tell her you're busy at work or with your mates, rather than making up convoluted stories.
Avoid saying corny lines or defeatist comments such as 'I know this is what you've wanted all along, so now you're getting me for life'.
Try to avoid the cliches such as: over dinner; via a jumbotron; or hiding the ring in food. Tune into the places she loves.
If you're nervous hire a proposal planner to coordinate and execute your details the day of, so you aren't worried about them and/or act out of character. This is the root for most proposal day arguments.