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Wednesday, February 9, 2011
How to Be Happy Being Single on Valentine's Day
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Fear not. You can be happy as a single on Valentine's day. Resist the pressure to couple up if it doesn't happen to be the time for you, and celebrate the moment.
Steps
- Get some perspective. If you feel sad because Valentine's Day causes feelings of loneliness and reminds you that you're 'just' a single, it might help to realize that there are plenty of other single people experiencing Valentine's Day too. While some of them might be feeling as miserable as you, some of them are probably having a wonderful time sniggering at the pointlessness of Valentine's Day or not even bothering to give it any notice. And then there are many couples who resist Valentine's Day as much as possible, despairing of the pressure to conform to purchasing gifts and celebrating the occasion like clockwork and who find the commercialization of Valentine's Day crass even though they're in love. With this perspective in mind, it can be a little easier to stop sniffling into your handkerchief.
- Remind yourself that the benefits of Valentine's day are realized in the cashier's till of the florist, candy retailers, gift stores and restaurants catering for romantic dinners for two.
- Remind yourself that the benefits of Valentine's day are realized in the cashier's till of the florist, candy retailers, gift stores and restaurants catering for romantic dinners for two.
- Love your singleness. Think about all the marvelous benefits of being single, from not fighting over the TV remote control to being able to keep your living space as clean or as messy as you'd like. The 'couples' messaging is strong but it isn't a reflection of the full reality of how people choose to live their lives; don't fall for the hype that everyone's paired off and happy as a result. There are many very happy single people but it's just not currently fashionable to cover the happiness of being single in media or political discourse.
- Write a list of all the good points about being single. For example, free time, no compromises on the homefront, less responsibilities, etc. And think about how some of those good points would evaporate within coupledom. Focus on the benefits rather than seeing drawbacks.
- If people choose to rub your 'singleness' in your face on Valentine's Day, be strong and reply with compassion: 'I like being single. I get to choose how I want to live without having to make compromises, meals, or even the bed.' And you might wish to mention that statistics reveal that half the community is single, with 51 percent of women, for example, living without a spouse.[1]
- Write a list of all the good points about being single. For example, free time, no compromises on the homefront, less responsibilities, etc. And think about how some of those good points would evaporate within coupledom. Focus on the benefits rather than seeing drawbacks.
- Be happy within yourself regardless of your relationship status. Romantic tales often suggest that another person can complete you, with common sayings such as 'my better half', 'I was half the person without you', and 'our two hearts beat as one' being readily asserted with few people stopping to assess what that actually means. If taken too seriously, this unhealthy perspective can mean co-dependence, loss of independence, and losing yourself in another person. That is hardly romantic! And does coupledom equate with happiness ever after? Divorce statistics and the stories of unhappy marriages seem to attest otherwise for a large group of people. Bear in mind that there's no need to change who you are, or to lose your liberty or your habits when you're single. Rather than feeling down on Valentine's Day, celebrate the strengths and achievements that testify to you being a whole and healthy person, a person who has space for love should it come along but who does not need such a relationship to create self-worth and happiness right now.
- Avoid being swept away by the tide. You may be very romantic and long for your 'soul mate' some day but patience may need to be your current virtue. There are plenty of Valentine's Days in a lifetime just as there are plenty of possible people with whom you could eventually fall in love. Sometimes what is difficult about surviving Valentine's Day as a single is the sheer preponderance of love messaging suggesting that you need to hurry or you'll risk missing the boat. If that were the case, then love in your senior years wouldn't be possible and that's just not true. Many romances spark throughout people's lives, no matter what age. In the meantime, love the life you're living and don't live for love.
- Remember what can happen to those who rush love and marry before knowing themselves. This can end in one partner realizing some day that they need to 'find themselves' and the relationship suffers for it.
- Diapers are not romantic. Endless nights without sleep are not romantic. Don't rush before you're absolutely ready to commit; enjoy this single time, now or for as long as you intend it to last.
- Remember what can happen to those who rush love and marry before knowing themselves. This can end in one partner realizing some day that they need to 'find themselves' and the relationship suffers for it.
- Treat yourself. As you're standing in the queue waiting to pay for your mundane everyday items, if you find yourself falling for the doe-eyed stuffed teddy holding a heart while wishing someone would send you one of those soppy cards, or you're salivating over the box of heart-shaped chocolates, consider treating yourself instead of beating yourself up. If that teddy is so cute you want it on your bed, give in. Or better yet, splurge on buying something you'd really like to have, like a bottle of perfume, a six-pack of European beers, a new coffee plunger, or a recent book by a favorite author. Don't make this day about deprivation!
- Do something decadent like attend a day spa all day long or go for a sightseeing flight over your city. Take along some friends if doing this alone feels weird.
- Do something decadent like attend a day spa all day long or go for a sightseeing flight over your city. Take along some friends if doing this alone feels weird.
- Find out what's happening in the singles scene. A number of bars hold singles parties that will give you the chance to celebrate the day as an unattached person. Don't take your love expectations though; just go to have a great time and to discover some new people to talk to and share cocktails with. This isn't about falling for anyone out of loneliness!
- Think of the money you're saving. The overly romantic person might reply 'Ah but what price can be placed on love? It is priceless!' That kind of thinking can lead you to live a life of extravagance without focusing on the practicalities and the importance of validating relationships with words and deeds over expensive love tokens. Diamonds are expensive and they're not that good at relationship advice.
- Love your exercise. If love has you in its grip, shake it off like you'd shake off the blues, with some good old-fashioned exercise. A run around the park, a skate across the rink, or a swim in the pool might be just the ticket to help you resist the more primal desires.
- Consider the day after Valentine's Day. Will all those lovers continue whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, will they keep surprising one another with candlelit dinners and trips down memory lane? It is to be hoped so. Reality however, suggests otherwise and we all, single or unattached, can fall into a habit of not acknowledging the people who matter in our life. Why not use Valentine's Day as a reminder to spend the rest of the year letting people know how much they mean to you. That will show your coupled friends that love is everywhere.
Video
Tips
- You should also realize that they are less fortunate people around the world, you may feel depressed about yourself on Valentine's Day on not having a mate, but there's plenty of people who do don't even have a home, food, good health, freedom, and other essentials. Your situation pales in comparison to people who live under dictatorships and/or third-world poverty. Try volunteering at a homeless shelter or donate goods to third world countries. You will realize how lucky you still are and not worry about not having a mate too much.
- Hang out with like-minded people and enjoy the day in the gym or at another relaxing place.
- Stay away from the stores. The marketers make Valentine's Day seem like a 'must-participate' occasion, as if you're some sort of party-pooper for not joining in. This imagery is particularly strong in places like Canada and the United States, while other countries aren't so obsessed with the Valentine's Day celebration. Perhaps book a trip overseas to escape it over the week leading up to Valentine's Day!
- Send Valentines to the people you really love: family, close friends, etc. It will help you to be grateful for all the true love in your life and not just the temporary hype of Valentine's Day love.
- Set up your sweet tooth and look forward to Cheap Chocolates Day, when the soft centers and seasonal candy treats are marked down to quarter price because the box is heart shaped. Best day of the year to enjoy expensive boxed chocolates at a super discount. Heck, consider this even if you are in a couple, it might be more romantic to spend Valentine's Day itself alone getting into something more personal and less crowd-oriented.
Warnings
- If people act as if they're sorry for you or pity you, avoid biting or sarcastic comments about their love life. Just remind them gently that you're happy or that you're actively getting on with life in a way that works for you. If you're really pestered, ask them why it bothers them so much that you're not in a couple. That might actually touch a raw nerve!
- Giving in and watching a whole lot of soppy romance movies, listening to love songs on the radio, and watching Valentine's Day specials on TV will make things far worse for you. Don't wallow in your self-pity, because you shouldn't have any. You'll feel wretched, cry, and think you're missing out on something. Do yourself a favor and simply don't do it. There are plenty of fun things you could be doing instead, like celebrating Ferris Wheel Day.
Things You'll Need
- Treats for yourself
- Exercise time
Related wikiHows
- How to Make Valentine's Day More Meaningful
- How to Cope With a Lonely Valentine's Day
- How to Help a Lonely Friend
- How to Know if You Like Someone or if You're Just Lonely
- How to Enjoy Loneliness
Sources and Citations
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How to Avoid Value Traps in Stocks
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However, it would be dangerous to go out and buy any stock that meet these criteria, as a stock that appears cheap may in fact be on the brink of bankruptcy and not a bargain at all, despite the figures. Sorting out between the true bargains and the false bargains, or value traps, is not easy. Here are some things to look for that may help you to make the distinction with caution.
Steps
- Stay clear from stocks that have dropped in price due to to exposed corporate fraud. Some recent examples like Enron, Worldcom, and Tyco have experienced marked drop in prices that make them look like bargains after their scandals were exposed, but in the end they're in a relentless trajectory to zero, leaving shareholders with nothing. Wherever fraud is involved, the figures in the financial statements that are used to determine value are meaningless, and the company simply cannot be valued appropriately. Moreover, once a fraud is discovered, the company tends to have little, if any, value left that has not already been stolen by corrupt management. Do not touch stocks of companies involved in corporate fraud with a ten foot pole!
- Avoid companies with high debt or leverage. Debt or leverage is a double edged sword. In good times, you can make twice as much money using leverage and borrowing is easy; in bad times, you lose money twice as fast and the time when you need the money the most is when creditors start calling you and demanding repayment of the debt.
- For a good margin of safety to make sure a company is able to satisfy interest payments on its debt, look for companies with at least two to four times interest coverage (earnings before interest at least two to four times interest charges). Upper limit applies to industrial issues, especially cyclical ones; lower limit applies to more stable incomes such as utilities.
- Remember, a company with no debt can never go bankrupt. On the other hand, excessive leverage can destroy even a great company.
- For a good margin of safety to make sure a company is able to satisfy interest payments on its debt, look for companies with at least two to four times interest coverage (earnings before interest at least two to four times interest charges). Upper limit applies to industrial issues, especially cyclical ones; lower limit applies to more stable incomes such as utilities.
- Avoid companies that have fallen due to outdated products and services. Blockbuster is a good example: who needs to go to a physical store to get videos or DVDs when they can be download at home with the click of mouse? Likewise, newspaper and physical bookstore businesses have been hurt by the expanding internet. Outdated products and services often signify that the lost revenues are probably lost forever, and that a rebound in the stock price is unlikely.
- Be careful of companies facing increasingly stiff competition. Look at the profit margins (net earnings divided by revenue) of a company through a period of 5 to 10 years, and also compare to profit margins of competitors in its industry. If the profit margins are decreasing through the years, that usually signifies that the company is unable to pass increasing costs onto its customers due to competitive prices. If a company is no longer competitive with its competitors, better to avoid it despite the low valuations.
- Be careful of companies in highly regulated industries. High fees and regulation costs in the U.S., for example, have forced many companies to relocate their business to other countries like China or face extinction. Most consumer goods are no longer made in USA. Payday loans are another example. Making $20 in fees for every $100 loan due in 2-3 weeks is great while it lasts, until the government caps the maximum interest charges to 36 percent per annum, and the payday loan companies find themselves unable to generate a profit anymore given such regulations.
- Be careful of investing in stocks that have dropped due to a dividend cut, especially when the company does not expect to resume dividends any time soon. Dividend cuts usually means the company has no earnings to pay out. The price correction following a dividend cut can be prolonged. Wait till the valuations are really compelling, such as significant price drops that send the stock to 50 percent or less of its intrinsic value, before plunging in.
- Watch out for missed earnings estimates. Analysts are generally quite lenient in their estimates and tend to revise their estimates downward before earning release to allow companies to beat their estimates and look good. Occasional missed earning estimates with over reaction in the price is a solid reason to buy on the dip, but a pattern of missing earning estimates is foreboding.
- Look for insider buying. Insiders are in the best positions to know how much their company is truly worth, and if the stock price is truly cheap, they will be buying the stock. There is only one reason why insiders buy: they expect the stock to go up. If you see recent history of insider buying, it's a safe bet to follow suit. On the other hand, if you see many insiders selling, it may be an ominous sign and you should probably keep your hands off.
- Check the balance sheet to make sure the company is healthy. One of the most important thing to look for that that the company should have current assets greater than current liabilities, to ensure that it can pay its bills in the short term. A more stringent test is to calculate the quick net asset by subtracting inventory (which may be illiquid) and total current liabilities from current assets. Alternatively, determine the quick current ratio by dividing (total current assets - inventory) by total current liabilities, and make sure the ratio is greater than one. Another measurement of financial health is the debt to equity ratio, obtained by dividing total liabilities by total equity plus capital surplus. Debt to equity ratio should preferably be less than 1; the lower, the better.
Video
Tips
- Avoid companies with overly complicated financial reports. If you cannot understand something, it's usually with good reason. Many financial advisers could not quite understand Enron's elaborate financial statements, yet they were not disinclined to recommend the stock regardless. In the end, they got burnt. Overly complicated financial reports usually signal corporate fraud exposure.
- The key to avoiding value traps is to attempt to evaluate whether the drop in price is temporary or permanent. Always ask: can the company be as profitable as it has been in the past? A stock that drops due to a temporary problems, such as poor general economic conditions, increased interest rates, increased energy or raw material costs, or a one-time charge for things like a lawsuit settlement or an oil spill cleanup, will typically bounce back.
- When the market is crashing due to poor economic news, the market is trending. Moving averages are the most reliable in a trending market, and the MACD formula give timely signals. The Monthly MACD gave a sell signal January 31, 2000 and a buy signal May 31, 2003. If you had used this formula when the market was crashing, you would not have lost any money in the dot com meltdown.
- When the market is rising due to good economic news, the market is trending. MACD is a great formula for keeping you in as long as the market trends. Weekly and Monthly charts give more significant (and fewer) buy/sell signals than the daily graphs.
Things You'll Need
- Access to corporate financial documents
- Financial news sources
Related wikiHows
- How to Pick Stocks and Other Investments With Fundamental Analysis
- How to Invest in Stocks
- How to Choose Stocks
- How to Buy Stocks
- How to Find High Yield Stocks
Sources and Citations
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